Short story about my life as if I was a dog

The name Sage is a girl's name of Latin origin meaning "wise".

In the woods, a family of dogs lived in a small cottage. This family has gone through rough patches as their daughter Sage is struggling with life’s chaos. Sage’s parents have high expectations of her and want her to be successful, so this creates tension within the family.

Since a young age Sage has grown up being bullied. She is insecure and often comparing herself to others around her. Sage is weary and tired of being hurt by others physically and emotionally, so she decides to hide her pain and wear masks. These masks didn’t ease the pain or help things get better. Sage changed herself to try to better fit in with the community that surrounded her so often. She was needing acceptance and connection. She groomed herself differently, barked differently, walked, played, ate differently, and bathed herself differently. In the beginning of this transition it was very hard for her as she wasn’t used to trying to be someone else than herself. Time went on and she continued to be bullied, and struggled with making friends. The pain grew heavier and heavier. Sage believed that if her peers didn’t accept her for who she was then why should her parents love and accept her. Sage’s parents, Ziggy and Willow didn’t understand her belief, as it brought tears to their eyes. Willow and Ziggy have always had an open heart and open arms. They loved her unconditionally. Sage pushed away her parents in fear of them building a connection that would be hard to leave. She is afraid that her parents would give up on her because of the difficulties and pain she caused her parents.

As Sage grows up she continues to go downhill and becomes very depressed and anxious. She didn’t have any self love or confidence. She held a lot of fear and frustration within herself. Sage is one to please others, help others, putting others before herself. Sage lets the love from her parents run through her, giving it all to other people. All she knew was how to love, and care for others but not herself. Sage didn’t have a connection with herself, she was lost and lonely. She couldn’t stand being with herself, especially in her dog bed at night. Sage felt guilty and ashamed of herself, which led to her unhealthy behavioral issues. Willow and Ziggy decided that it would be best to send her to a shelter where she can receive help. This broke their hearts as they decided it would be best for Sage to give up their puppy to be taken care of by someone else so Sage can be happy and safe.

While Sage was away her parents got depressed and blamed themselves for the pain Sage experienced. Willow and Ziggy became lonely and tired.

In the shelter Sage has made a lot of progress and growth. She has become aware of the beauty life has to offer and the appreciation she has for the pain. She starts to come home for short amounts of time to adjust to being transitioned home. This creates some anxiety within herself. Sage starts believing that when she comes home she has to be pawfect and consistently be pawsitive. That she can’t have any ruff days and fully experience her emotions. Sage is worried about her parents and about how much pain they can handle before they won’t be able to any more. She is fearful of coming home which creates stress within the family.

Sage’s visit home was hard for them. She ended up being affected by her parents lower, negative energy which she then responded to sleeping in her kennel all day. Her parents worried about Sage as she didn’t want to even chase a cat or play fetch. Sage returned to the shelter, then started to feel a little better. She howled with her friends which helped her come out of the negative space she was in.

Sage was reflecting on her past when she realized that she is the one who is preventing herself from growing. She has all of this love and support from the people that surround her who matter most. That she has all of these unrealistic, false beliefs and thoughts. Sage has tried so hard all this time to be happy by pleasing others, through connections and making friends, that she forgot about the relationship with herself. When she came to this realization she knew she had to change the way she treated herself.

All of her life she was searching for light outside of herself, from acceptance, friendship, love, kindness, toys, good kibble, walks, and playful moments. She was searching in the wrong places all this time. The light is within herself. No matter the happiness, joy, satisfaction she received from outside of herself she will not know inner peace and true happiness.

Sage has been knockin on all the wrong doors her whole life leading her further away from home. Once realizing that she was lost she was able to realize that home is within ourselves and has always been.

I like to view ourselves as planting our "seeds in the garden". At birth we are given a small patch of land and a few seeds. You have no control of the location of your garden, whether it is in a fertile valley or on a rocky mountainside. Unable to change the quality of the soil it contains. You cannot control the amount of sun, rain, wind, or hail that falls upon your garden. But you are in charge of nurturing them to harvest. This is a metaphor for the things in our lives that we are unable to control; our birthplace, family members, culture, and society, and our inherited qualities and aspects. It is hard to accept the things we don't have control over in our lives. But this is why life is so beautiful. The beauty of life is while we cannot undo what is done, we can understand it; learn from it; and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, fear, or anger but on acceptance, understanding and love.

As I have lived these 17 years of my life, a lot has happened and it hasn't been easy. For the longest time I wanted my life to change, I wished I had done this or didn't do this, I wish this didn't happen or this did happen, to the point where I hoped to never wake up. I hoped for a perfect life where I got everything I wanted and didn't have to suffer, that I would be happy forever. But you see this wouldn’t be the result of a perfect life. As I have been apart of many experiences I’ve realized that I don't want a perfect life at all. I have come to be grateful for the suffering I've been through because it is what allows us to enjoy the better times. And this is why life is so beautiful, because life isn't perfect. It is full of ups, downs, twists, and turns, bumps, and barriers which allows us to be happy.

As life goes on people grow up, die, leave, change and go away. I have learned this the hard way as many others can relate to me. Life has a way of doing that to us. We spend so much wasted energy and time on trying to receive happiness, and joy from others or materials. We are looking in all the wrong places but ourselves. You are with yourself for the rest of your life. At the end of the day you are alone only with yourself and your presence. So start loving yourself and forming that connection within yourself. Your home has always been within yourself.