I'm Preventing Myself From Growth

I am my biggest barrier which is preventing me from being my best self. The fear of failure is bigger than my desire to succeed. I had no confidence, even when others did, in myself to actually put myself out on a limb, take the road less traveled, and grow. I have recently realized that I am keeping myself from progressing because of the fear that I am so aware of. I'm one that is very, very hard on oneself. I am aware of this and I can agree that yes, this is beneficial to some extent but the hardness I give myself is holding my hand as we make our way down hill. I'm not going anywhere sitting in this fear, of not being good enough, not reaching my highest potential, not being happy with my life, or regretting parts of my past. I have high expectations for myself because I know I have purpose and that I am going far in life. All the reassurance, love, support, compliments, hopes, high fives, good grades, motivates me to do even better than what I have accomplished. I don't give myself the praise I deserve, I automatically rush right into "now that I have done this, I can do more, I can do better". The sad truth about our society is that we push ourselves to do better to be easily accepted. Our society is full of competition, whoever does better will be more successful. Straight A students will most likely be more successful compared to someone who has struggled with grades. We are all tricked into believing this false reality that we are taught from a much to young age. We ourselves prevent us from so much growth. We sit in so much fear, the fear of failure, rejection, pain, loss, death, anxieties, change, difference, etc. We are all too aware of fear, we hold ourselves back from healing. To be free we must live without fear.

When I have the desire to be better, to succeed, I am fearful of not being successful. It's a cycle. Where there is fear, there is no intelligence. The fear that we grow up with is a reflection of what older people have told you. Education is aimed to making you conform, we are told what to think, act, say, be, do but this is a big barrier from thinking freely. From such a young age we are manipulated into following after one another, wishing we can be like them. We often want to be something different from what we are. It requires complete freedom to change who we are. Without have desires, or wanting to be someone else, having more wealth, or power. We grow when we are completely free, rid of fear. This is our society that we live in, it's as if we are being controlled by one another, more like following each other. We have such trouble finding out who we are or what we are supposed to do because of this. We must revolt, break away from society and then we will change.