Life is full of beauty
Life is hard but that is the beauty of it. It is not easy, but life was never meant to be easy or fair. It is overcoming obstacles that you develop new skills and ways of handling what the rest of life has in store for you. It is in these hardships that we are able to see the beauty of life.
As I am alongside many others, life hasn't been that easy. I have suffered incomprehensible amounts of pain. As I have been destroyed to the point where I've hit rock bottom. I didn't believe that there was no coming out of this hole of darkness that had become so familiar to me unless I did myself in. As I was being moved around from hospital to hospital, I wasn't making any progress. My support system decided it would be in my best interest for me to be sent to a treatment center where I would live there for awhile. This was hard news to receive. In this moment it was hard to see the good my parents where making with this decision. I was overwhelmed with upsetting emotions that I had to leave the place where I grew up, formed so many connections and the familiar environment I call home. Since living here I have realized how important CHANGE is!! Damn, change is challenging but crucial in order for us to grow and live a life of success. Leaving home was the hardest but also the best thing that has happened to me. When I was living at home I did not have a good relationship with myself. I've put a lot of stress on me to fix others, please them and always support them above and beyond. While I let the love from my family and friends run through me. I gave my heart to the world without keeping any love for myself. It was hard for me to accept the love as I struggled with accepting myself and the life I have been given. I wasn't able to set boundaries with myself and others. Loving myself for who I am has been a struggle but as I have been healing it has become easier as there is so much to love myself about!!
Our relationships with ourselves and finding balance within us is most important, I believe. Finding that balance is loving who we are and doing self care while living amongst all of our brothers and sisters is hard. I didn't believe that there was a middle in this spectrum. Ether letting ourselves be dragged down with others trying to support them or having no respect or love for others. We might consider that type of person as selfish.
I like to view ourselves as planting our "seeds in the garden". At birth we are given a small patch of land and a few seeds. You have no control of the location of your garden, whether it is in a fertile valley or on a rocky mountainside. Unable to change the quality of the soil it contains. You cannot control the amount of sun, rain, wind, or hail that falls upon your garden. But you are in charge of nurturing them to harvest. This is a metaphor for the things in our lives that we are unable to control; our birthplace, family members, culture, and society, and our inherited qualities and aspects. It is hard to accept the things we don't have control over in our lives. But this is why life is so beautiful. The beauty of life is while w cannot undo what is done, we can understand it; learn from it; and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, fear, or anger bit on acceptance, understanding and love.
As I have lived these 17 years of my life, a lot has happened. For the longest time I wanted my life to change, I wished I had done this or didn't do this, I wish this didn't happen or this did happen, I hoped for a perfect life where I got everything I wanted and didn't have to suffer, that I would be happy forever. As I have been apart of many experiences I realized that I don't want a perfect life at all. I have come to be grateful for the suffering I've been through. And this is why life is so beautiful, because life isn't perfect. It is full of ups, downs, twists, and turns, bumps, and barriers which allows us to be happy.
This has taken me some time to come to terms with, as it will with you. Best of luck on your journey.
Much love, peace, and dogs