Progress in the Works!

After being in residential care for about five months, I have made tremendous progress and growth. I can feel the difference, and I feel a lot better. Part of recovery is making your way uphill, getting better; however, some days you go down a little and then work your way back up. This is normal and totally okay. I still experience bad days, but that's just a part of life. Thanks to a friend, Forrest, I have learned that during the bad days, we can become more appreciative of the better days. It's important to go through the bad days and hard times rather than pushing them away. The hurt will build up and then boil over, causing a bad day that could have been avoided. You should feel the pain so you can get through it. It's okay to be upset and cry; it's totally okay! While being away in treatment, I have become wiser and more appreciative of my life. It’s still hard knowing that my parents and people I’m connected with are hurting because of my absence at home. However, they are overall grateful and hopeful for my journey. This is a reminder that love comes with pain. When you love someone and they are away and struggling, it's normal to empathize and feel for them. I tell my parents that I am grateful for the hard times and pain I’ve been through because it has shaped me into the person I am today, and I can say that I love myself more than ever before. I don’t wish for a different past. Yes, it was painful, but I have come out so much stronger, for which I am grateful.

I have formed a relationship with myself that allows me to feel much happier and more content. I am finding my inner peace slowly but surely. I am finally understanding and taking action to improve myself, not just for the people I love but for myself. I realized that when you love yourself, you feel happier, which then positively affects those around you. We are all on this planet together, surrounded by billions of people to support and comfort each other. However, I have found that we often depend on others for our happiness. While relationships are important, people don’t always stay in our lives forever. Ultimately, you are left with yourself to form a relationship with.

I like to refer to my mental health as two mindsets. The first is from my heart, deep down inside, which is true. The second mindset consists of beliefs formed from negative experiences. For example, my first mindset is that I know I am loved by my family. My second mindset is that I feel like a burden to them because I am struggling, which impacts them negatively. This creates a constant internal conflict.

Yes, my family is hurting because I’m not doing well, but it’s natural for them to feel for me. As I mentioned, love comes with pain. I am learning to accept my struggles and pain, ultimately being grateful for the experiences I've survived and how they have shaped my current self. Residential treatment has changed my life, and I’m feeling better than ever before. I've had some of my worst days here, but recovery is not a perfectly straight road. Every individual is different and unique, and you have to create your own path, which makes you unique. Something that our society struggles with is the acceptance of others; we can be judgmental. It boggles my mind that people are not accepted for their race, age, sexuality, ethnicity, gender, or religion. I believe that we should be accepted for who we are, regardless of these factors. This lack of acceptance creates problems with self-acceptance, which is frustrating. I hope that our world can embrace acceptance, love, and peace. As the Dalai Lama said, “World peace begins with inner peace.”

Much love, peace, and hope,

Sarah Field